Couples Work - Relationship Matters

COUPLES

There is no work more dynamic than the exploration of relationship while in relationship.

Relationships brings out all sides of us, the very best and the worst.

I imagine that you found this page because you are struggling in your romantic relationship. You have probably tried everything you can think of to solve the issue(s) but you have realized that it’s beyond your skillset.

I have been working with couples for a decade and the couples I work with see results. They report that they argue less, feel more connected, feel more safety within the relationship, are more patient with each other, and have resolved past issues that used to flair up during disagreements.

I am here to listen and reflect your truth back to you but that’s not all—I will offer feedback, shine a warm soft light on your blindspots, coach you through tough and tender conversations and heavy-handedly but warm heartedly guide your most emotionally intimate and vulnerable interactions with love, empathy and fierceness.

My style is leaned-in and direct. I will interrupt, call time outs, and tell you when you are being unkind or unfair. I will have a front row seat to the inner workings of your relationship and your relationship will transform for the better.

IS IT FOR YOU?

This work takes courage, tenacity and a willingness to receive feedback and be challenged. To make real change in the way you relate interpersonally, you need to bring an attitude of curiosity and willingness to unlearn the zero sum game.

In the end there are two kinds of relationship; those that are healing and those that are injurious. Not every relationship has the essential ingredients to be healing but in many cases, the room for improvement is proportionate to the education gaps of understanding the “how” of healthy relating. I can help filling in those knowledge gaps and assist you in clearing out the inner obstacles that stand in your way to loving well.

This is not your typical couples therapy experience. This is guided couples work. It’s therapeutic coaching, it’s active not passive, its confronting, its boldly honest and it’s gonna move some stuff.

I approach this work as a fellow traveler. I am married and I’ve had to learn and unlearn and grow just like you. It’s a journey and and its ever-evolving. I love that about relationships— they keep me growing and reaching and never becoming complacent. I am an aspirational being by design and that trait works to your benefit because I will bring my full self to helping you cultivate and tend harmony in your relationship.

I will teach you how to do it better. We will work on all the things: intimacy disrupters (sarcasm, joking, stonewalling, etc.), Gottman’s 4 horsemen of relationship (defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling and criticism). We will work on the skills of repair after rupture. We will heal past wounds in the session. We will learn the skills of emotional honesty, self and co-regulation, and the win-win set up. We will have the hard conversations safely and I will turn you loose with new tools that will serve you for life in ALL your relationships. It’s good stuff.

Shall we do it?!